Coming from a serious eating disorder background, I was so disconnected from my body. I hated it. I was never fully in it. I had no idea what it felt like. It was this thing that took up way too much space.
I remember when doctors would ask me how my body felt after eating or purging or whatever the fuck. Umm… what? I really didn’t understand because I never allowed myself to feel. To really be in my body.
Fast forward to the time of healing. Whoa! Being in your body, noticing its nuances, its needs….🤯. This is the time when I started to figure out what felt good. Inside and out. Mentally and physically. It was a game-changer.
After many years, I finally accepted my body. This amazing vessel that put up with all the shit I did to it day in and day out. Yet it still showed up for me.
I learned that I could eat a cookie and be fine. It didn’t hurt me. It was the all-or-nothing thinking that did. For instance, if I ate one “bad” food, everything went to shit. All the “good” eating (or not eating) was ruined. So why not eat the entire bag of cookies?
Do you see how ridiculous that is? It’s like saying if you went on the treadmill once you are ready to run a marathon. One cookie isn’t going to hurt you if that’s what you really want. It’s the all-or-nothing thinking that will hurt you.
Y’all, there is no “good” food or “bad” food. BUT there are foods that make you feel bad physically and mentally. That’s what we can figure out. When I finally came into my body, I realized what foods worked and what did not. Food is an experience and should be enjoyable. There should not be fear associated with it.
Know that you can eat the damn cookie (and candy!) and nothing bad will happen.