I am frequently asked how to be happy. Hmmm… if only I had a simple solution, like stop at a vending machine, push H5, and happiness will just drop down from its spiraled shelf. Reach down to grab it, and boom, it’s yours forever! (Hell, with how quickly technology advances, maybe it’s not that far off!) But for now, answering the question of how to be happy is quite elusive.
Spoiler alert: It’s usually YOU in your own way to happy. But please keep reading!
Happiness can be tricky because it looks different for all of us. For some people, working out makes them happy — and that could be the worst time for many others. Other people love playing board and card games because it makes them happy, but just as many others don’t enjoy those activities.
The thing is, you need to find happiness within you. Not external happiness. Yes, absolutely do things that make you happy. Connect with friends and loved ones who bring you joy. Read books and go for runs in nature and bake bread — whatever activities you enjoy.
But to truly be happy, you must be happy with yourself. Be your own loved one. And it’s here that most people struggle. Because, frankly, nothing is ever really said about being your own happiness.
I work with many people who are looking to shift and find happiness, and we work on this very topic—being your own happiness. It is necessary to love, trust, and know yourself to figure out how to be happy. Your satisfaction, joy, and contentment are in YOUR hands. No one else — not a partner, a friend, or a family member can bring it to you. Yes, all of those add to your happiness, but they aren’t the root. You, my friend, are the root.
Also when working with clients, we focus on releasing limiting beliefs and negative self-talk to reveal the joy within them. Allowing yourself to be your own joy is and will be a work in progress but I promise you it is worth every hurdle. (Just be careful not to love and enjoy yourself so much that you turn into a hermit! 😜)
Once you unpack and overcome all the roadblocks in your way, life changes. That certainly was true for me, when I was out of a shit relationship and feeling miserable. I started looking for hearts (a symbol of love and happiness) in the craziest of places. And it helped! Not only did it help me to reclaim my happiness, but it brought joy to so many others who find hearts and send pictures to me! (Read more about that in my blog.)
Something to keep in mind: Happiness is not a 24/7 thing. It ebbs and flows just like everything else. It’s just that once you find and allow yourself to be happy within yourself, it is easier to jump back into when you do hit an obstacle. The good gets better, and the bad isn’t as dark.
Although I wish I could give you a scavenger hunt list to go out there and find happiness externally, the onus is on you to peel back your own layers to understand why you are preventing it. Everyone has it within them, including YOU! So take a stand for yourself WITH yourself. Let’s work together and start your journey of self-discovery.